Writer's Block: Old enough ...

[kalmn]

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i'd like you all to notice how this is framed as "teenager", which could apply to all genders of teenagers, yet actually only applies to controlling the behavior of young women.

(and no. young women deserve bodily autonomy, just like older women do.)

Comments

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Note also how "right to know" and "right to consent" are conflated, which happens often in these sorts of discussions, and which I would like to see teased out a bit more often in all contexts.

[loracs.livejournal.com]

A good example of how insidious sexism is. Many people would read this as a very "innocent" question, a good jumping off point for a discussion and indeed it is - I happen to like the way you took the discussion!

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

It might also apply to male teens who are trans (who might be taking a pill like Seasonique to suppress menstruation, frex), but I doubt LJ was thinking at that level of complexity.

I suppose it might also apply to female teens who are trans, who might think that "borrowing" a cis female friend's hormonal birth control was a cheap and easy way to get some estrogen into their bodies. I have never encountered anyone doing that, but I have encountered lots of teens who thought that mixing and matching prescription meds with their friends was a logical solution.

See, I'm overthinking this! And I am sure you were absolutely right that the LJ question writers were just being sexist; I just wanted to imagine a possible situation in which this question referred to teens of all genders.

If I were a parent (I'm not) I would want to know whatever medications my child was taking, just so I could advise medical personnel accurately in the case of an accident or illness in which my child could not speak for themselves. Other than that, I would trust them to advocate for themselves with their doctors.

(Here via james_nicoll's friendslist.)

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

that's a good point, actually, about trans teens. but i still think that parents should not have the right to know, or, as pantryslut mentions, the right to consent.

i am going to be a parent one of these years, and i very much hope that my kids will feel comfortable sharing that information with me. but i am really hoping that the worst consequences at my house would be some uncomfortable discussions, as opposed to other situations out there in the world where girls are using birth control (or would like to be) so they don't get pregnant via repeated familial rape.

yuck.

i am hoping that electronic medical records will help with needing to be able to recite a list of one's meds upon request. i put mine on google docs last month. whew.

[ailbhe]

I am a parent, of two girls who are nowhere near puberty yet, and my take on the whole "parental information on teenagers' medical stuff" is that if I have somehow screwed up enough that they don't feel able to confide in me that they are taking medication or need an abortion or whatever, they deserve legal protection of their privacy, and I deserve a slap upside the head. I mean, I assume I'll be the one they ask to make the appointment to see the doctor in the first place, because phonecalls are boring and tedious and one always ends up on hold, but if they feel a need to conceal stuff, that's where I stand.

[tesseract26.livejournal.com]

as someone who works on these issues in a conservative state, i all but burst into applause when i read this. cheers!

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

I absolutely agree with your stances here! I would just wish that my kids felt able to tell me, especially so that I could help them in cases of emergency if heaven forbid such issues arose. If I needed a law to make that happen, I would (like you) think I had already failed them.

[snippy]

I support everything you say except...it might not be because you have screwed up. It might be that because they are young and still have little experience, their perspective is messed up.

I know this can be true because it was true of me at age 16. When my mother found out I was sexually active she was completely cool about it, took me to Planned Parenthood so I could choose a birth control method. In the 1970s. It was my messed up teenage head that was afraid to tell her, not for any good reason.

[ailbhe]

Not being absolutely certain that I will help them obtain whatever they need and defend their right to a healthy, happy sex life when they choose to have one *is* screwing up, for me. It's not the worst way to screw up, but if they have doubt about that, I will feel that I have screwed that up.

It's a combination of minimum medication-safety and minimum sexual-health safety. Med-mixing is srs bsns even if it's not medication to do with their sex lives. I didn't find out about the importance of regular STD testing and safer sex practices until *very* shortly before I became sexually active myself; I hope my children are aware of it as a mundane necessity before they hit puberty. I've met a startling number of people my own age with an extremely casual attitude to it.

[ailbhe]

Oh - it may be relevant that I assume I am going to screw up quite a bit, parenting. I don't think I'll be perfect.

[redbird]

If parents (or anyone else) need to invoke a legal "right to know" in order to find this out, it's none of their business.

Seriously. They've had years to raise kids who feel safe talking to them about things like this. If they haven't managed it, having a pharmacist or doctor push the conversation on them is not going to go well. (That's even if it's just "oh, dear, my little girl may not die a virgin! I have to tell her how babies are made" parental panic rather than physical danger to the young woman in question.)

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

So sticky.