feminism and what it's not.

[kalmn]

feminism is not about choice.

every single blessed lemming that runs over the cliff does it of it's own free will. and dies on the rocks below.

feminism is about equality. equality on all sorts of multiple overlapping intersecional axes. (axises?)

does equality lead to more choice? yes, yes it does.

choice in an unequal system is a rigged game. it is not a free choice.

i want you to have free choices. i want me to have free choices.

but i don't, and you don't. and not all choices made by feminists are feminist choices, sometimes they're the choices we have to make to get along, whether we consciously realize that or not. sometimes the choices we want to make, actually really want to make, are the ones that are the ones that are the same ones the patriarchy encourages us to make. [waves at ms v, way up there on those rocks]

if someone makes a choice that isn't the one i'd make, that i wish, for feminist reasons, isn't the one they'd make, i will usually try to keep my mouth shut. (because, hello, the patriarchy hurts everyone, and do you need me poking you on a difficult issue? no.)

for the record, i do not always make the patriarchy-killing choices myself. i am currently wearing an uncomfortable yet well fitting bra, made an effort to look pulled together this morning, and dyed my hair a color that doesn't stand out from the crowd last week. not to mention that i am being fairly closeted about several things to achieve a goal that i cannot achieve unless i am not noticeably different from the norm.

people get to make their own choices, they do. me, you, everyone.

whether or not those choices are equal, whether or not those choices advance equality, *even if you are a member of an oppressed group, that's a different matter.

Comments

[daedala]

Nice post. Hooray!

[(Anonymous)]

And, of course, sometimes the feminist fight I choose to devote myself to isn't the one that's your priority. I find that's where some of the bitterest fights come from.

(Well. Not so much me, and you. But you know what I mean.)

[(Anonymous)]

Oy, that previous comment was me, Jessie.

[geeksdoitbetter]

those poor lemmings

one guy, made a bad move to get better ratings for his silly documentary, and ever after lemmings have a bad rep

[kalmn]

hee hee. this is true. i had a far side poster of lemmings when i was a teenager, and for some reason that sticks in my head much better than anything else.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Good post, and I will go tell my friend the same thing now instead of just seething. (The untruth of the lemming thing undermines your point a bit, though.)

[kalmn]

i could replace it with we all had skyscraper bangs in high school and they all looked really stupid.

[bibliofile]

Ha! I did not have any bangs in high school. I did have granny glasses in middle school, but it was the '70s and I think they were required -- oh, wait.... :)

Okay, feminism is about choices when choices are denied, which has happened an awful lot in the last few decades, especially here in the US. Or at least some of the noisiest discussions have been about choices and missing options. That's probably why so many of us focus on the choices thing. But you are totally right.