bad ideas i have had, by kal, age 38

[kalmn]

so, one of my tweeps (who can identify themselves here if they want) is currently talking about dating coworkers and how it can go badly.

which makes me curious about how many people other than me have done it, and how many people other than me have done it repeatedly.

coworker one: together for nineish years, most of which was spent married, worked together when i asked him out, worked together for about two years i think, relationship was in fine shape through all of that and didn't end until years later.

coworker two: together for about two and a half years, worked together for most of that time which included me getting hired where he worked during the very early WE'RE NOT DATING I SWEAR parts, proximate cause of the relationship ending was me getting another job.

coworker three: barely counts! i asked him out, we went out for about six weeks, he decided i wasn't the woman he wanted to spend his life with, i thought briefly and snarkily about couldn't we have more meaningless sex before you decided that, we're still work-friends.

i don't have a paid account anywhere, so no polls for me. all essay questions all the time! you will be graded on length.

Comments

[the_siobhan]

I've really only done it once, and the relationship part pre-dated the co-working part. It has worked out great, mostly I think because he already has a personality that I can work with easily.

I have shagged a few co-workers in the past, which worked out ok - everybody was very clear right up front that it was just for sex. Things might have gone less well if any of the people involved had changed their minds about the "just sex" part, but that didn't happen.

[onyxlynx]

Nope. Just crushes. No post-employment revelations, either. Fortunately.

[aedifica]

I have once, but never anyone in my immediate department--it was someone in another department on the same floor. We had to hide it at work, but other than that it was fine. We're not dating anymore--this was years ago--but we're still friends.

[hobbitbabe]

1. Got co-op job in different group (same building) as extant-fiance. Kept r'ship secret for about half the summer because I didn't want people to think I applied there because of him. It ended up not mattering at all but was probably good practice differentiating myself.

2. Had sex after office Christmas party but not with my first choice. Was slightly awkward, probably would have been way more so with first choice.

3. Spent several years working in junior position in same department (and occasional mentoring relationship) with life partner, while remaining under radar about relationship to most colleagues. Was exceedingly awkward after bad breakup having to change habits of who I chose to work with on projects, still with many people not realising that we were no longer on speaking terms.

[snippy]

Just once--and I ended up marrying him, but then, he got me the job because we'd been friends in high school. And his mother fired me as soon as we got married because she believed married couples shouldn't work together--she knew, because she worked in the business with her husband, too!

[pants_of_doom]

My coworkers are overwhelmingly straight.

[aquaeri]

My spouse and I were sort-of coworkers - we met at work certainly but had fairly distinct positions. I don't recall it ever being any kind of problem.