kalmn

the cultural appropriation discussion that will not die is going around again. and once again there are a whole bunch of white people saying "but why are you so angry about this?" or "if you'd only be polite!" or some other variation on that theme.

here's the thing that has helped me *greatly* in this regard, as a pastyass white person.

just because you think someone is being an asshole to you doesn't mean they're not right.

what it does, likely, mean is that they're angry and you're defensive. *both* of those things. can't do much about them being angry, because it's not all about you. can do something about you being defensive. such as take a few deep breaths, kick something real hard (desks are good for this, as are refrigerators), and then see if you can strip all the anger off of what they said and look at it just as a thing that was said. and then why are you being so defensive?

last time i got caught by this i was asking other people to do my homework for me. which sometimes you can do, and sometimes you can't, and i should have known i was in the latter situation, but i didn't think about it enough beforehand. and then someone called me on it and i *still* think they were being an asshole about it, but you know?

they were right.